Recently, I learned that April, (not her real name) a young woman in one of the communities we work in, is going to get married. April is 16, so I immediately asked if she is pregnant. Pregnancy is usually the main reason why someone as young as 16 would suddenly decide to get married.
April and her mom came to our office and April admitted that she and her boyfriend had been sexually active for about a year. They had never used any contraception so they were very lucky she had not gotten pregnant. Now she wants to start using contraception so that she won’t get pregnant until later on.
I asked why they wanted to get married and she said simply that they are in love. Some of our staff spoke with April’s mother, and she is in favor of them getting married because she knows they sneak around and she’d rather they be married already so she doesn’t have to worry about her daughter anymore.
April is 16 and her boyfriend is 20. Technically, if April were being coerced into her relationship with him, he could be accused of statutory rape. But she is in this relationship out of her own free will. And she says they are in love.
Our staff spoke with April and prodded her some more on why the need to get married right now. April then admitted that part of it is the economic security her boyfriend can provide for her. He has a steady job in a tourism-related industry and makes a steady salary. We asked April what her needs are and she answered that she needs P50 baon (money for meals and transportation) each day, to get to her high school, eat something at noon, and travel back home. Her parents cannot give her the P50 (or roughly $1) that she needs daily. Her boyfriend can.
Is this coercion? Certainly no one is physically forcing her to be with her boyfriend. But economic dependency is also a form of coercion. It’s the reason that many women go into sex work, or stay in abusive relationships. If April’s family were wealthier and they could afford to give her baon everyday, I wonder if she would still be with her boyfriend? And would she still be in such a hurry to get married?
I’m glad that she says they’re in love. And I’m relieved that she is now on contraceptives so that an unplanned pregnancy won’t force her to drop out of school and have kids at such a young age. But it makes me uneasy that she is about to legally join herself with an adult while she is still a child, especially since a divorce will not be an option for her if circumstances change and she wants to get out of the marriage.
Because she is a minor, she needs parental consent to get married, but her parents are relieved that someone else will be taking care of her. They have three other children, including one with special needs, and feel that April will have a better life with her boyfriend. I have my doubts, but I hope and pray that she will.